Okay, you guys will have to forgive me for skipping over the past 9 months of my life. Huh, 9 months, ironic. I have been through quite a bit. I will give you a brief overview, but then I am moving on to the present.

When we last "communicated", I was in heaven. Joel and I dated and spent a wonderful time together. We spent Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's and every day in between together. In January, we got a house that his dad gave us and began he remodeling process... In March, we found out I was pregnant. In April, we miscarried. We spent 4th of July with my family. In August, we broke up because I found out he was dabbling in some heavy drugs. We got back together. In September we broke up because he was verbally abusive, and I got a brief period of bravery and left him. In October, I decided to stand up to him about his drug problem and his abuse towards me and he dumped me saying that I was too good for him.

So much to share...

Brief overview...
We moved in together, he proposed, I got pregnant, I miscarried (twice), now we've broken up and I'm moving out. Yeah, I guess I owe you guys an update...

Gimme a couple more days...

and I swear I'll post an update! Bear with me!!! LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU!!!

Forgive me?

For not blogging in forever! I will get to it eventually! What you've missed:

-3 dates with Joel
-I quit my job
-My mother and I made up
-I spent Thanksgiving with Joel and his family
-Joel came to my family's house for Thanksgiving too
-Black Friday shopping (12AM-10AM)
-Joel and I are officially a couple now!

Details when I get a chance! I am swamped with schoolwork and really need to do all of that before I blog, but I promise I will by the end of the week!!!!

sweet, tender kisses.

I am on cloud 9 this morning! granted, I am sitting in this effing EMT class and it's entirely too early to be performing CPR on a smelly manikin (spelled the way it is spelled on the box, lol!)! I did not want to get out of bed this morning. I woke up in Joel's arms, feeling his warm breath on my forehead. he felt me move and kissed my forehead before going back to sleep... matter of fact, he did that every time I tossed and turned. we probably spent 85 percent in eachother's arms! the rest of the time, we were either intertwined, or it just got too hot to cuddle. it was so great! I guess I should start from when he got there... right when I was starting to ramble in the last blog, Joel pulled in the driveway. after guiding him to the appropriate parking spot, I brought him inside and gave him the grand tour. it was cute how the first thing he asked was, "where can I put my shoes?" so I showed him my room and went back to the living room and cuddled up on the chaise by the fireplace and after talking about our days, I started talking about how much I hate my job at the office and he tolerated that for all of about 3 minutes before reminding me that it was the weekend, so I needed to relax. then he said he thought about inviting me to his house for thanksgiving, but he didn't think I could hang. in other words, he's not ready for that yet... he said next year, it's on. honestly, i'm pushing for christmas! so, we just talked for a good while and then headed into my room. I looked for something on tv while he got into pjs (basketball shorts. no shirt.) I decided on who wants to be a millionaire and he decided to try to distract me ;-) ! it was cute the way both of us kept answering the questions even though our mouths were CLEARLY occupied... the rest is a bit private. well, not an issue for me, but I choose to respect his privacy. sleeping with him was exactly as I wished it would be, we cuddled the whole time! and he kept kissing me and just caressing me. it was just perfect! :::sigh:::

Date #2 got moved up...

To Tuesday. HaHa, sorry no extra build-up or anything, it was kind of spontaneous... I stayed home from work Tuesday because I was just really going through alot in my personal life. Believe it or not, there are some personal things I don't blog about... So, I wake up and, of course, the first thing I do is check my Facebook. I had a message from Joel that said,

J: Gigi, I want to apologize again for Sunday. Reid and I have a long and very fucked up history. I really need to go more indepth in person. But for now, I want reassure you that you have nothing to worry about. That is the exact thing I am trying hard to get away from, thats why I want to hang out with you. Just hoping I can see you sometime before Friday before you change your mind about me."

G: Joel, I absolutely love your company and something like Sunday is not going to change that. I am different from the girls you are used to in MANYMANY ways! I know what I have to offer and am not at all discouraged by little things like that, because I also know that what I see in you is something I want.My phone is mean to me, so I might not be able to reply, so I REALLY hope you get this ASAP... I think your idea for Friday is soooo awesome! And I would love to see you today if you're available...

J: I am glad to hear that. Still no confirmation on friday, might have a better idea. I am free today after 5 maybe even 4. What do you have in mind?

G: Umm... maybe a stroll somewhere. I am dealing with alot of messy situations and just need to clear my mind... Maybe you would know of a better place to stroll... I was thinking Olde Towne Portsmouth and hopping on the ferry to Downtown Norfolk, but.... what do you htink?

J: not real sure. It is mighy frigid to be outside today, especially by the time we get to portsmouth then norfolk it will be dark. I would definately enjoy hanging out today but I might not be up for all of that.

G: haha. well, then, you come up with a better idea. i'm down for ANYTHiNG!

J: I know quite a few places to walk but not sure you want to come to surry. I got a superb idea actually. Dress warm, bring your game face, no stilletos (i know i mispelled that) and meet me at la hacienda. ill let you know when to leave smithfield

G: HaHa, umm... I'll see if I can find some non-stilettos in the very, VERY back of my closet, lol! I'll dress warm, wear non-high heeled shoes (remember the difference??), and will meet you at La Hacienda. Just call and let me know when to leave Smithfield. Got it! [[[love how i practically just reiterated your message...]]]

J: yeah i noticed. not all that necessary. well ill call you as soon as I walk out the door from work. hope you dont mind the drive.

G: Not at all! For you!? I'd even eat eel... ;-) ! Have a good rest of the day at work. I'll be sitting by my fireplace with a hot cup of tea, anxiously awaiting your call!

So, I am at late lunch with my dad (((BTW, I am typing this as I wait for Joel to come over for our 3rd date. I'm trying to play catch-up again, ugh!))), when I get a text from Joel saying I need to leave Smithfield by 4:15. So, I drop by Cat's job to get a pep talk and some moral support and head to the restaurant. I get to the restaurant and chill with the servers and then Joel peeks his head through the door and we're off. By the way, I did see him pull into the parking lot, but I wanted them to see that it was him I was going out with... So, he picks me up and we started heading out into the stix, lol, but then we saw a car also heading out there, and since it's hunting season, we decided not to get shot, so he took me back to his house. His house is AMAZiNG! It's a big, historic home that used to be an old B&B. It had a gazillion rooms (2 "junk rooms" in the front, a formal dining room, a big eat-in kitchen, a den, Jack's room, Joel's room, his parent's room, his sister's wing...) It was just beautiful! More about the house later. He gave me the grand tour and I just marveled at the beauty of it while he just chuckled because he hates it! Then, he says, "Can I show you my room without being too bold?" HaHa! What a gentleman! We then sat in his living room for a while and looked at a book about pirates and a book about the watermen of the Chesapeake Bay (which was his profession for a while...) Then, we went outside and played on his "playground/gym" A.K.A. ropes and cement piping! It was fun though! I even got to swing on a rope!!! After that, we drove for a little while and he gave me the grand tour of Surry (which took all of 10 minutes, lol). We got to a stop sign, and he puts his truck in park and starts rearranging things in his front seat and then he looks at me and says, "Scoot over to the middle. I've never had anybody sit in the middle with me before." WHAT!?! Is that the sweetest thing ever or what? I tell you what, this guy has alot of "little things" tucked up his sleeve... (((AAAHHH! He'll be here in 15 minutes. I better speed-type!))) So, he decides he wants to take me to his spot, which is in an old abandoned neighborhood right next to the James River. We pull up next to a really nice tree and after doing the necessary stand outside, look how pretty, we got back in the truck. In the truck, we did what we do best.... TALK! Ugh, get your mind out of the gutter. The one thing that really stuck out from the conversation was that I told him I didn't know how he had me going so crazy and he said it was due to his chakras. He said he has some sort of control. I don't really get it, but I intend to. He is really big into spiritual things. It all fascinates me, but I don't really "get" it... The other thing that sticks out in my memory is that he asked me to confess something that I think would shock him, so I said, "I have never had an orgasm through penetration." That surprised the hell out of him. Not so much because of the fact that I have never climaxed with a man, but more so because I would come right out and say something like that. So what? I'm open about my sex life, hehe... I also confessed that he was everything I never realized I wanted in a guy and as I laid there curled up in his arms listening to his heart beat, we saw a shooting star. I was in such shock at the perfection of the moment that I forgot to make my wish. Corny as this may sound, I don't think I need that wish... After the shooting star, things took a more.... physical turn. We got pretty hot and heavy and I swear Joel found spots on me I didn't even realize I had. Turns out, he claims he knew all along that I was a freak because I was a lady, and it always holds true: "Lady in the streets=Freak in the sheets." After we had been going at it for a while, we decided we really needed to stop because we were only building it up for nothing. We finally calmed down enough to head back to the restaurant, but wow! He really had me going! I don't remember the last time I wanted someone so badly, but we agreed that we wouldn't have done it anyway, because a) I'm not a slut, and b) our first time will not be in a vehicle, and c) it would be too soon. However, we pinky promised that it would happen! When we got to the restaurant, I mentioned that it would be nice if he came inside and said hey to my dad, but due to his...umm.. .aroused state, we decided against it. As fate would have it, however, my dad walked outside to show off his new pick-up truck and Joel got out of the car and talked to him about the truck for a while. My dad threw me the keys and told me to take it for a spin, so Joel kissed me good night (in plain sight! Though, my dad didn't see) and we agreed we would do something Friday night as originally planned. I totally forgot that I would have a stupid EMT class tonight from 5-10, so we had to cancel dinner plans and I invited him to come over and watch a movie and stay the night... So, here we are today... I am laying in my living room floor by the fireplace trying to type this out... He should be here anytime now... No pressure, right? 3rd date= defining moment. Do we go all the way tonight? Oh goodness... Will update tomorrow! Look forward to a wonderful love story!

P.S. I will just continue to type until he gets here... It is now 10:49PM and we agreed that he would be here at 10:45. I am wearing a turquoise and pink Hurley thermal, jean shorts, no make-up and warm white socks. Not exactly sexy, but rather casual and laid back! I even shaved (my legs, arms, etc....) for this .... HES HERE!

Ex-girlfriend drama.

Okay, so last time I blogged, I ended by saying that the girl, Reid, I had just met, and liked, was Joel's ex... Let me replay the entire scene for you, because it does have some slight changes now that I have that information...



So, I am sitting at my table on the restaurant's MySpace trying to add cool stuff to it, and I saw Joel, another guy, and some girl walk in. Well, not really just some girl. Some girl that I've seen in there before with him... Some girl that he's paid for before... Some girl that is really pretty. So, I admit, I got really self-conscious, and was sitting there trying to make up my mind if I wanted to go over there and talk to him. Finally, I decided if I din't go over there, he would think I didn't want to talk to him, and since it was 2 days after our first date, I didn't want to give him that impression... (((BTW, forgive me if I'm a bit distracted, I'm sitting in class))) On the other hand, I didn't want it to be awkward if I did go over there and his friends didn't know about me and stuff. Let me take this moment to let you know a little bit about my dating history. I have a history of ending up in "secret: relationships aka I end up dating a lame guy that keeps me a secret because he is a) cheating, or b)ashamed of me. So, when I start dating a guy, I am automatically sensitive to see if he is willing to be public about our relationship... Back on track, I finally decided that when their food came out, it would be a perfect time/excuse to head over there, so I head over to the table and am like, "Oh hey! I didn't see you come in!" and Joel tells me to sit and chat. After I sit down, he introduces me to Reid and Rooster and we all start chatting. Reid showed alot of interest in getting to know me and even spent like 15 minutes on my laptop trying to add me on Facebook. She said that she saw me on Joel's page and I should add her. After I friend request her, we are all just kind of chatting, but she keeps being really flirty with Joel. Things like footsie and showing off how well she knows him. I have to admit, the entire time, I felt really out of place. They kept talking about things I had never heard of and had all of these inside jokes. It was really uncomfortable, but for Joel, I stayed. Eventually, Joel said he had to go to Wakefield, and she practically invites herself to ride with him. This whole exchange made me really uncomfortable because I really had no idea what was going on. I didn't know the situation with them or anything! After they leave, I send Joel a text that says, "Sorry if I was a bit awkward today, I din't want to make it weird for your friends."
Joel: "No, I'm sorry. Reid is my ex that I had a bad breakup with and it was really awkward. She started flirting with me as soon as you sat down and we aren't cool like that."
GiGi: "No, it was totally cool, I just felt a little out of place. I wanted a hug, but didn't want to make it awkward for your friends.."
Joel: "Me too"

So, turns out Reid is up to something. Try me, sista! I will fight for my man!